There are many topics which fall under the chronic illness umbrella which I am simply not qualified to write about – or others can write about better.
One of these is what chronic illness looks like within a marriage and/or while parenting.
I’ve spent the past year collating resources on the Called to Watch Pinterest account which I thought may be helpful for myself and others. It’s time to do a few reviews so you know what’s there!
Enter….
Pinterest review: Chronic illness, marriage and relationships
Your Loved One has lived with their chronic illness for ten years. There’s been highs and lows, but you’re just beginning to understand what life looks like for them and also for you.
Then a close friend receives a diagnosis. They’re sick. Chronically sick… perhaps with the same illness as your loved One, perhaps a slightly different one.
Everyone is dismayed and shocked. They surround the newly-diagnosed one with gifts of love and support. Maybe they look at you, and assume you too will visit and offer your help. After all, you and your Loved One are ‘old hands’.
Perhaps someone nudges you and quips that maybe the past suffering of your Loved One was preparation for loving this person – that all that agony was raising you up for “such a time as this.”
“The journey is slow, and it consists of tiny steps.” May this interview be an encouragement that there are others out there too, struggling to love and seeking to give, all the while figuring out what it looks like to do exactly that.
It’s time… for the first interview with another watcher!
The blog series Another Watcher’s Story is a compilation of interviews with other people just like us who are in a relationship with someone suffering from a chronic illness: mental or physical. They may or may not be in an ‘official’ caregiving role, but they have a unique tale to tell.
Are you ever tempted to sit down and try and order the pieces of your life?
As you love and care for your sick Loved Ones, do you ever wish you could straighten your hardships out into a coherent narrative, one with a tidy moral and neat conclusion?
Do you feel that if only you had a polished version of your life, it would be a enough to redeem your suffering, because then it would have a purpose?
In short, do you ever neglect your role as a Watcher in order to become ‘Biographer’?
This is what it looks like:
You are often on the look-out for a purpose or a theme behind your Loved One’s suffering, or in day to day occurrences
You have a yearning desire to put each new experience into words so that others can learn
You are tempted to dismiss parts of life which don’t lend themselves to ‘story’
You are drawn to those areas of life which seems just a little bit more dramatic, heroic or exciting
You feel that your life and experiences are wasted if nobody reads about it and learns
I’m going to switch to ‘we’ now, because this is something I am guilty of at times…
They say you never stop learning. Though sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what you’re learning while you’re learning it!
Often I come away from a season in my life with the sense that I’ve just learned something: that my character has been shaped, that my knowledge has grown… but am unable to put into words exactly what.
That’s why I Iove reflection. Over the last few months there’s been an increasing pressure on my soul because I learnt something in 2017 that is important, and I don’t want it to dissipate as the calendar flips over.
Instead I want to cradle this truth close as I march out into 2018. So here’s my attempt to put it down in letters on a white screen, so that the lesson might be worth the learning.
As the old year ends and the New Year begins, society gears up to welcome in a new period of life. Parties and fireworks are often external signs of our joy and anticipation of a fresh start.
Many of us begin to make New Years resolutions… but the problem is these simply may not be applicable for you or your loved one suffering from a chronic illness.
With chronic illness, the most common resolutions may seem:
Unachievable (because you have limited energy):
Learn a new skill or language
Organise your life
Ridiculous (If only you had these problems):
Get a better work/life balance
Only party 1x per week
Heart-breaking (if only you could!):
Be the healthiest you possible
Achieve your dreams
It’s time for some stats! Out of the 54 posts published this year, let me share which ones you liked the most, and then I have a huge favour to ask you…
(These do not include the introductory – But what is Watching? and the About Me pages, both of which were very popular.)
What I’ve learnt from blogging about chronic illness on Called to Watch
At the moment, even as I’m preparing to look forward to Christmas, 2018, and the future – I’m also looking back.
This is what I’ve learnt:
1. I have everything to gain and nothing to lose
Blogging over the past year has taught me that Watching is a ‘thing’. By this, I mean, loving someone with a chronic illness is a state of being worth talking about. It’s a relationship worth sharing.
Recently I went away, and beforehand I did some preparation. Not the ‘buy insurance’, ‘print your papers’, ‘get the correct address’ sort of preparation, which unfortunately I was rather sadly lacking in (thank you Long-Suffering Friend!) – but character preparation.
What’s that, you ask?
It’s the type of preparation that I’ve discovered is essential for me to ‘get the most’ out of a holiday – as a human, friend, Watcher and Christian.
While this was one of the few times I travelled without my loved ones who struggle with chronic illness, many of the ways I prepared were born out of holidays I’ve taken with them in the past.
These 5 ways are (in my mind!) applicable whether you’re travelling with chronically ill friends or by yourself, and even whether you’re going overseas or simply staying at home and taking some time out.
However, because they’re not specifically about chronic illness, I’ve published them on my other blog.
// I’d love to hear your thoughts! Do you agree, disagree? How do you prepare for holidays?
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!
Christmas is coming up, and I want to thank you for following my blog. When you sign up you’ll receive 3 downloadable and printable cards suitable for someone with a chronic illness – and anyone in need of some love!
Chronic illness or Christmas? Which would you prefer?
I know which one I’d choose. But too often we don’t have a choice – and this is very evident during the holiday season.
Over Christmas we often spend more time with family, and for many of us, that means spending more time with Chronic Illness.
Chronic Illness doesn’t go on holidays over Christmas…
While the shops and the media try to convince us that by November 1 we have entered into a ‘new world’ of perfectly laid tables, wrapped gifts and dizzying heights of tinsel – most of us know that’s not quite true.