Is it always possible to represent someone else accurately?
How often have you stood ‘in the place’ of your ill Loved One?
Maybe you’ve attended an event,
answered a question,
or formed a relationship,
which they simply could not.
Delegates are people who represent someone else to a community. They go forth in their place and explain the other person’s views, character and position. Sometimes it’s easier to see ourselves, not as Watchers of our Loved One, but as their delegate to the outside world.
Continue reading “What if they don’t understand? (Watchers we are not delegates!)”
Is the ‘right’ answer always the most appropriate?
Today’s post is the first in a series of articles called ‘Talking about Suffering’…
Why am I sick?
Will I ever get better?
What am I supposed to be doing with my life?
It can take courage to ask these questions. But sometimes, it can take even more courage to answer them.
Talking about suffering is hard! (how do you know what to say?)
Figuring out the truths about illness, suffering and the big problems of life is difficult.
It’s a different sort of hard when you are not sick yourself. How often do you feel helpless in the face of such questions? How often do you feel ill-equipped to answer your sick friend’s frustrations?
Even if you ‘know’ the right response (whether that’s an answer, rebuke or piece of advice) you might not know ‘how’ to say it.
Is this you? It’s often me!
Continue reading “Talking about suffering: Why pure motives don’t always make things right”
Am I always supposed to know the answer?
How’s your mum? How’s your sister?’
These are questions I get a lot. They’re great questions. They mean people are thinking about my sick family members, and it shows that the people around me understand that their illnesses are a rather large part of my life.
Most of the time I appreciate the time taken to ask a question like this, and the implied preparedness of the asker to listen to a ‘deep’ response.
Continue reading “LTCI #2: Am I my family’s keeper?”
Praying for your chronically ill friend – the pros and cons.
Prayer. Healing. Chronic Illness.
These are tricky topics, and ones I’ve struggled with quite a bit. In these two posts you will find my thoughts… and why prayer has often seemed like a simple ‘wish’ when really it’s more like a magic wand.
Prayer, chronic illness & healing
Continue reading “Prayer, chronic illness & healing (Part 1)”
It’s hard to share about chronic illness on social media. Here are three reasons why.
Sharing about chronic illness on social media
It’s difficult. Particularly when you are only watching someone else’s battle.
That I think this might come as a surprise, due to the slight fact that this website is full of articles! Not to mention, I have associated facebook pages, groups, pinterest, google plus and twitter accounts! That’s a lot of social media.
Yet each time I share about the place of chronic illness in my life (as someone who has sick family members, but is not ill myself), I struggle. It’s a hard topic to think and talk about – let alone share online with everyone and anyone!
Of course, I share because I want to. It is an immeasurable blessing, and in fact is so much part of who I am, I feel I can’t not share… but I still find it a battle. And so I’m posting this here, and on Facebook and twitter and pinterest and all of the other social media places, in the hope that perhaps other people find it scary too.
Continue reading “The problem with chronic illness and social media”
“… and there’s nothing left to say.”
Chronic illness is…well, chronic. For the most part, not only does it not end, but it remains the same. Of course there are changes, developments, progressions – but these are generally subtle in nature and may vary between individuals. Perhaps our Loved One is slowly but surely declining. Or maybe their sickness fluctuates without rhyme or reason. Some days they are well, others they are not. Or perhaps there is simply no visible change at all, just a long, monotonous pain.
Continue reading “Help! People keep asking…”
Cliches…. hate them, love them? Either way, they’re here to stay…
Updated October 2017
Clichés fly thick and fast around the world of chronic illness.
Keep fighting. You’re so strong.
God has a plan.
It will turn out all right in the end.
He has his ups and downs.
Do these phrases make you wince? Does anger bubble up your throat when you hear them? Do they make you want to go on a hashtag rant on Twitter or write a Facebook essay speckled with ‘angry’ emoji?
I know the feeling.
Continue reading “Why you should use cliches when talking about chronic illness”