Abracadabra! (Watchers, we are not Fairy Godmothers!)

Contrary to popular belief, fairy godmothers are not trademarked by Disney. They do not always run around singing ‘bippity-boppity-boo!’ In fact, they may be closer than we expect…

A ‘fairy godmother’ is a type of character which charges into a dismal situation, waves their magic wand and fixes everything before disappearing in a cloud of fairy dust.

They exist outside of Cinderella – and in fact, are often viewed negatively by film critics. A ‘fairy godmother’, like a ‘deus ex machina’ can be a lazy way of resolving the characters’ problems and ensuring a happy ending by the two hour mark.

That said, how many of us would love a ‘fairy godmother’ in our own lives? A magic solution to all our stresses? Yes please!

Often as Watchers, we are tempted to try and fulfill the role of a ‘fairy godmother’ in our Loved One’s life.

Continue reading “Abracadabra! (Watchers, we are not Fairy Godmothers!)”

O woe is me! (Watchers, we are not Victims)

“Oh look at all those other people with their lollipops and rainbows, skipping hand in hand in a luscious field of poppies. If only that was me. Instead here I am in my dark corner with my pet spider and my burden of responsibility.”

Which character would you be in a novel?

The hero?

The villain?

The love interest?

Some days it’s easy to feel like the victim. The character that gets smacked over the head with a tonne of Tragedy just so the hero can realise that yes, the world does need saving. I’d better find my cape…

You might not struggle with your health on the same level as your friend or family member with a chronic illness, but it can still feel like you’ve got the raw end of the deal.

After all, your life has been disrupted too! You have added responsibility, added financial strain, added demands on your time and energy. On top of all that you spend a lot of time in close quarters with someone who is unwell (and the truth is, unwell people aren’t always as much fun as ‘well’ ones – I personally turn into a monster when I have the flu).

When you feel overlooked and depleted it’s easy to imagine that your identity is not in being a Watcher, but rather a Victim (yes, with a capital V).

Continue reading “O woe is me! (Watchers, we are not Victims)”

Am I really a ‘Caregiver’? (and what does that mean?)

“Caregiver.”

For years I never considered that this label belonged to me. It seemed too formal, to restrictive, too…important for what I did to help my chronically ill mum.
Hugs and housework and understanding.

Surely those didn’t deserve such a label?

Yet when my younger sister was diagnosed with a brain tumour and I spent every other day at the hospital and I cared for her in many physical ways from feeding to advocating for her with the pain team, I still didn’t feel this label belonged to me.

But I also felt that I needed the help a label brings.

Without a label I did not have the words to share my story.

READ MORE….

am I really a caregiver 2 #chronicillness #suffering #loneliness #caregiver #pain #caregiving #spoonie #faith #God #Hope

(today I’m posting over at Chronic-Joy.org).

am I really a caregiver 2 #chronicillness #suffering #loneliness #caregiver #pain #caregiving #spoonie #faith #God #Hope

PS: Enjoyed the post above? Get the next one delivered straight to you! Sign up for email notifications  

I’m also on Facebook, Pinterest & Twitter! Meet me there for more interesting reads, resources and community.

What to do when someone you love has a chronic illness and you are too young

When someone we love receives a chronic illness diagnosis, it is easy to feel helpless.

This is magnified when you are “young”.

After all, you can’t offer lifts to doctors’ appointments and you can’t be there all the time, because you have to go to school.

Perhaps your offers to help aren’t taken seriously, or people overlook you in the mad rush to help your sick family member.

What do you do when you are too young to love?…

This post was first published on The Rebelution. Read the rest here!

 

(Image courtesy of original publication).

PS: Enjoyed the post above? Get the next one delivered straight to you! Sign up for email notifications  

I’m also on Facebook, Pinterest & Twitter! Meet me there for more interesting reads, resources and community.

Should we use labels?

‘Don’t restrain me.’
‘Labels are limiting.’
‘We shouldn’t put people in boxes.’

‘Everything is fluid.’
‘Categorizing someone stops them reaching their full potential.’

We don’t like labels.

Talk to anyone who is in tune with the 21st century about political correctness and common courtesy and phrases like the above will arise.

Yet it has been blatantly obvious from the very beginning that I have fixed a very firm label on myself and others on this blog.

Here are some of them:

Watchers – those in a close relationship with chronically suffering people

Wider Watchers – those who are not in a close relationship with chronic sufferers

Loved Ones – the chronic sufferers themselves

Labels restrain us

Why have I done this?

To be perfectly simple, I wouldn’t be able to write without them. I need to have these definitions in order to muse and blog and think about our specific situation.

First things first, let’s clear the waters and accept the inevitable truth:

Labels (inadvertently or otherwise) do place limits.

Continue reading “Should we use labels?”