Supporting the chronically ill, living life and finding hope
This is a blog about ‘Watching’. That is, loving suffering people while not suffering yourself.
But what does that look like? It can (and does!) look like many things, but sometimes it’s helpful to look at what we are not.
We just want them cured – is that so wrong?
If only we could decipher the ‘meaning’ behind their suffering!
Of course we’re fine, after all, we’ve got this!
Continue reading “We cannot be everything (We are Watchers, not…Master List)”
When I think of ambition, I see someone fighting tooth and nail to get to the top of their career ladder
… and to be honest, that’s not me.
What makes Ambition wrong?
What makes Ambition right?
Am I being called to give Ambition up? Am I okay with that?
Today this post is hosted over at my personal blog.
… Read more about my thoughts and personal struggles with Ambition here.
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I recently went to a conference where I met a lot of new people.
Which (necessarily) led to lot of introductions – and because this was a writing conference, it also led to a lot of answering the question: what do you write?
Which in turn led to explaining about this blog, and after that, about my Loved Ones – namely, my mum and my sister. After the first five times I got my ‘blurb’ down pat:
“I write a blog about loving people with chronic illnesses, as my Mum has multiple diseases including pernicious anaemia and type 1 diabetes (with all its associated problems) and my sister had a brain tumour and now her body does not produce any hormones.”
It was a ‘neat’ answer, but after offering it a couple more times I found myself growing increasingly uncomfortable. I found it difficult to repeat, to the point where I had to practically force myself to say it and felt like I was rushing to get it over and done with.
Why?
Is there anyone in your life who is dependent on you?
Sooner or later most of us want to sit down and plan our future, or at least make a “five-year plan”. Yet if you are a caregiver, this can be difficult.
The Bible tells us to “bear each other’s burdens.” (Galatians 6:2) – But, when those burdens interfere with your personal goals, are you allowed to set them aside?
Is it possible to love your sick family member, and at the same time plan a future for yourself?
Planning for the future is hard for everyone. Whether you have too many possibilities or not enough, it’s difficult to figure out what something we have never experienced will look like.
Most of us have dreams we’d like to see become reality, or at the very least we dream that one day we will have dreams.
Considering our future in the presence of chronic illness is even harder. Illness is unpredictable. We can’t say how long our family member will need us, or how soon they will take a turn for the better or the worse.
We need to be realistic, but also hopeful.
Loving someone who is ill or aging means that whatever decisions you make, you are making them for two. That is a lot of responsibility, and there is a huge pressure to ‘choose right’.
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April is done and dusted. What did you get up to? I read several interesting posts – on topics ranging from the difficulty of waiting, what to do when you are not healthy enough to read the Bible, and the unexpected blessings of a mangled toenail!
Let me know what you think!
Who doesn’t like to receive answers or healing straight away? Yet so often we are forced to wait. And waiting is hard. This post reminded me:
https://www.biblicalcounselingcenter.org/why-do-we-have-to-wait/ Continue reading “What I’ve been reading April 2018 (and what you’ve been reading too!)”
How often have you stood ‘in the place’ of your ill Loved One?
Maybe you’ve attended an event,
answered a question,
or formed a relationship,
which they simply could not.
Delegates are people who represent someone else to a community. They go forth in their place and explain the other person’s views, character and position.
Sometimes it’s easier to see ourselves, not as Watchers of our Loved One, but as their delegate to the outside world.
Continue reading “What if they don’t understand? (Watchers we are not delegates!)”
Hello, my name’s Emily and I’m a Skeptic.
If this sounds like a therapy group meeting, you’ll soon understand why.
But first, take a moment. Could this ‘greeting’ be applied to you?
If you’ve spent any length of time wandering around the Interwebs (Hello, Pinterest!) you know that there is no end to the suggestions, prescriptions or affirmations for people with Chronic Illness.
And I have a big admission to make.
From someone who doesn’t have a chronic illness, I sometimes find these a bit odd.
“3 postures to help with X disease.”
or
“The scent that will bring you peace even as you face X”
or even,
“Exercises you can do even if you have X”
At first I dismissed any such posts as ‘unnecessary’ – but now I try and approach them with humility. Why the change?
Continue reading “LTCI 3: How to balance skepticism with love”
I know I should talk about it,
I want to talk about it,
I planned to talk about it,
I prepared to talk about it…
But I missed my chance.
Am I a failure?
Why is there suffering? My friend asks. Does God care?
I open my mouth – but don’t reply.
Perhaps I was afraid. Perhaps I couldn’t find the words in time. Perhaps someone interrupts, or I misjudge the situation and think it would be best not to respond.
Has this ever been you?
If so, you know about the disappointment and guilt, when you later realise that you’ve missed your chance to speak truth with love.
Continue reading “Talking about suffering: When we miss our chance to have the conversation”
Are you a chatterbox? Bring up ‘Sherlock Holmes’, the latest book you’ve read, or something God’s been teaching you… and chances are, I won’t be closing my mouth for a while.
Although I’ve written before about thinking before talking, and even (on occasion!) not speaking at all, the truth is…
I rather like talking.
Yet there are other topics which are less guaranteed to set off an avalanche of words. I suspect it’s the same for you.
I also suspect that one of these might be: ‘why does God allow suffering?’
It’s an important question – so why do we find it so difficult to talk about?
Continue reading “Talking about suffering: Why answering ‘That Question’ is so difficult”
Some questions should not be answered.
This is not because they are silly or childish (there’s no such thing as a stupid question, remember?)
Or because they are too difficult.
Or even because the answer is too scary.
No, the only reason you should not answer a question is when you have something to offer that is more important.
But what’s more important than an answer?
Let’s go back to my friend from the last post. She’s struggling from a mental illness which invades her days and eats away at her personality.
Upset and tired she asks me,
‘Why does God allow this?’
Now there is an answer I can give to this. It is a theologically sound answer.
It is correct in every sense of the word. And there’s nothing wrong with my motives – I love my friend, and want to see her comforted and at peace with God and herself.
All the boxes are ticked… and yet depending on the situation my answer could be extraordinarily hurtful to her. And yet, it might not be!
How do I know? Continue reading “Talking about suffering: When NOT to answer The Question”
