“I’m fine, don’t worry about me!” (Watchers, we are not Saints)

We’re not doing the gospel any favours by trying to be perfect

Are you always fine Watchers, we are not saints www.calledtowatch.com #caregiver #struggle #chronicillness #writer #hope #chronic #faith #watching #prayer

“I’m okay.”

“I’ve got this.”

“Honestly, it’s fine, I promise.”

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we are only a Watcher, and instead begin to think that we are (or should be) a “saint”.

This is what it looks like:

Watchers, we are not saints

Do you…

  • …. feel guilty all the time. I’m not a good Watcher. Not even passable. Why can’t I do anything right?
  • … gloss over your hardships and sacrifices. Oh I don’t do much, not at all. Yes I spent all day driving my loved one to appointments in the rain, but that doesn’t matter. It was nothing!
  • … never share your problems. I’m going fine. One’s got to do what they’ve got to do! Other people have it worse, after all.

Why is it wrong?

  • It’s a lie (some of the time at least). Either to ourselves, or to others. After all, no one is ‘fine’ every day of the year. No one is cheerful day in and day out.
  • It squashes relationships. No one feels comfortable around someone who is seemingly perfect. No one is going to feel able to share their trials with you, if you never share with them.
  • It removes the need for Jesus. If we have it all together why do we need a saviour?
  • It’s a burden and a stress on us. Relief is found in community. There’s comfort in sharing and admitting the truth and receiving help.

Why does it happen?

  • It’s a pride thing: we don’t want to be seen as weak.
  • We’re afraid: what if we admit to having problems, but there are no solutions? What if the Bible is not enough?
  • Watching is our identity, and so if we fail, we instantly become a less acceptable human.

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Some truths:

  • Jesus’ strength and grace is revealed in weakness. We’re not doing the gospel any favours by trying to be perfect ourselves. Instead we’re propagating the lie that humans can be their own saviours
  • Hardships and vulnerabilities make us more approachable
  • If we do not admit to needing help, we are refusing to allow others to demonstrate the love of Jesus

How do we respond?

  • Let’s practice talking about our struggles. This can be hard when we’re used to automatically replying ‘I’m good.” But it is worth it!
  • We can cultivate humility and dependence on God by admitting to him that we need help. One way of doing this is praying before every task however small.
  • Let’s repent of our pride and acknowledge that we need Jesus

Have you ever been tempted to be a “saint”? I have – and it’s never ended well.

My friends we are Watchers, not saints, and so let’s not be afraid to fail.

//What about you? Have you ever found yourself slipping into the ‘saint’ mentality?

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Author: Emily J. M.

Hi, I'm Emily. Two of my closest family members struggle with chronic illness, and I watch them. That's hard, and so I write about life as a 'Watcher', what it looks like to support them and find Hope.

2 thoughts on ““I’m fine, don’t worry about me!” (Watchers, we are not Saints)”

  1. Emily – Oh boy what a post. This speaks volumes to me “My friends we are Watchers, not saints, and so let’s not be afraid to fail.” It is so scary to fail when you are taking care of another. When the risks are so high. Yet, we can not save only Jesus can.

    I made myself so sick trying to be the savior when my good friend was diagnosed with cancer and then again when my child became ill with mental illness. I remember well a therapist getting in my face and reminding me, “Jesus is the savior not me.” My heart was in the right place but I am no savior I needed Jesus. He also reminded me Jesus did not save everyone. Thank you for this amazing post. I have pinned and will share with my facebook group for caregivers of those that have a loved one with mental illness. You nailed it.

    I sometimes respond with, “I am good.” I feel like I am good compared to others but that is not the point I need to be honest. I struggle to with being a caregiver. I am human.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your honest words. You are so right – only Jesus can truly fix the situation, and sometimes the way He chooses to do so is not how we would at all! Thank you for sharing this post, may it bless others!

      Like

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