I don’t like being sad. Do you?
Being sad means I no longer feel like laughing at someone’s joke or daydreaming in the sun.
Being sad can mean I get headaches from crying, or find it difficult to concentrate during lectures, sermons or long conversations.
And yet, the truth is, when tragedy strikes our loved ones, it can actually be helpful to be sad.
3 reasons it’s good to be sad:
1. Sadness is reality
Let us not lose sight of the fact that when someone we love is suffering we ought to be sad.
It’s not merely ‘okay’ or ‘acceptable’ – but it is good.
If your heart does not break at the new distress of someone you love, something is not right.
Feeling sad means you’re human.
It means you have a living, breathing, sympathetic heart, and that is good. We were not created to be stone statues, but living people created in the likeness of a God who weeps as well as laughs.
Sadness is the right response to tragic reality. It means you see the world as it is. Life is not all happy games and hopes fulfilled. It is just as equally a dark valley and night time tears.
To see and feel sorrow when it is present is good.
Sadness is the right response to tragedy. It is part of being human – tweet!
Continue reading “3 reasons it is good to be sad after a chronic illness diagnosis”
Sadness after a chronic illness diagnosis, that’s valid, right?
It’s a good thing… yes?
Well – sort of.
Sadness can be restrictive
Strange as it may seem, having mixed emotions can actually be a saving grace.
If we are sad over our Loved One’s suffering, but simultaneously frustrated at the doctors, angry at God or jealous of others, no one feeling has complete control.
After all, we’re only human, and cannot plumb the depths of ‘anger’ at the exact same time as we are reaching into the extent and intensity of ‘grief’.
With many emotions comes also many options for relief, more opportunities for someone to say ‘me too’.
Yet when we are simply sad, it can become all-consuming. We can easily develop ‘tunnel vision’, and our sadness may push aside every other happiness.
In one sense that’s okay. It’s not wrong to feel grief, and immense grief will be felt immensely.
But it can also be harmful, because we all need some measure of distance. Continue reading “The 3 dangers of being sad after a chronic illness diagnosis”
A chronic illness diagnosis is emotional. We may feel sad, guilty, overwhelmed… and we can feel angry. Sometimes this is short-lived, but mine wasn’t.
Why are we angry?
Coping with anger after a diagnosis is not simple
Chronic illness and suffering is a sensitive topic, so let me use another analogy.
Say I stub my toe. It hurts. It makes me angry.
Anger over chronic illness is a reaction to frustration
Continue reading “After a diagnosis: Why anger?”
Have you ever felt over the moon with joy – only to have someone snipe at you for being “too idealistic?”
We’ve all met That Person. The one with a hard life and huge smile. They never seem ‘down’ and they’re always hopeful about the future, even when there seems to be little to hope in!
Perhaps you’re that person. Or maybe you’re more inclined to the opposite view… You understand that life is hard and it probably won’t get any better, and having fun is all very nice, but it’s not reality!
Idealism or pessimism? Which is the right response when confronted with tragedy and illness?
It’s easy to judge a response when it’s the opposite to our own
If you’re bubbly and full of life it can be extremely disheartening when others “drag you down”. It’s not pleasant to have our “bubbles burst” or our happiness frowned at!
Continue reading “Idealism or Pessimism: which is the right response to suffering?”